Be optimistic: Do not panic!

The environmentalists are alarmist, biased and pessimistic.

Be very quiet, there is no reason to panic!

The forests will disappear. But those who need forests?

Who needs trees? They only serve to tarnish the street when the leaves fall. You can make your private forest, with artificial plants, plastic.

The birds will disappear. But who needs the birds? They only serve to foul the sidewalks, parked cars, and the roofs of our houses. You can visit them in the museums that preserve stuffed.

Oceans will rust and pollute up to end all marine life. But rest assured, there is no animal that smells worse than fish. The fish make a mess when we prepare them for lunch is a better pasta dish makes less mess than eating fish.

The rivers run dry. Who needs rivers? We can build a pool on our property, and clean water with chlorine, and you do not run the danger of the river overflow and flood your home.

Drinking water will end. But who needs water, if we can drink the rainwater?

The air will be breathable, but who needs air?We wear masks! The makers of masks and oxygen tanks also need to make money. Maybe you can get rich by creating a mask factory to breathe?

Seals, sea lions, whales, penguins, bears, everyone will die. But what difference does it make? We raise chickens, with the advantage that are close, the lowest price, and you can still sell the manure as fertilizer.

Great earthquakes happen, but do not worry if you do not reside on top of a fault. The other is that they will die. you will escape, and can still be horrified, and even cry, with scenes that will witness on television, on the evening news.

Earthquakes will destroy nuclear and other large dams bring down water, but rest assured, many will die, but the lines go down, banks, supermarkets, buses will leave employment, and you may even win an abandoned house by nuclear contamination.

Goes missing food. But you can live with the cookies, worms, cockroaches, ants and rats, which are not affected by disasters.

Major flooding, similar to Pakistan will happen, but you can the opportunity to get rich, selling boats and stealing the donations will come from all over the world.

Waves of heat equal to those of Russia and the United States will happen elsewhere. But it better happen to white people get tanned, you can sell tanning skin, cold beer and hot flashes are more cheerful than the waves of cold, when no one can leave the house.

The glaciers are breaking up. Who needs ice?What we need is lots of sun, to watch football, dance, carnival, drink cold beer, look at the women on the beach having a barbecue in the park.

Earth's ice may melt away all the important thing is that manufacturing continues Kibon sovertes, you can buy and store in refrigerator.

Food prices will rise, which will be very good, since poor people will starve to death, only the rich will survive, and the world will be a more peaceful place.

The climatic and geologic changes will cause social unrest, which is a good thing, because we have to arrest all troublemakers, and the streets will be free for you to walk alone, quiet, with no one to bother.

Drop a meteor on the earth? It's been more than 65 million years that does not fall at all! This is a thing of the past. Will not fall any more, this is a matter for the unemployed.

A deadly virus? It's another silly without size!Laboratories invent a vaccine, you buy and not die.Loses his wife and children, but with the advantage that you can marry another younger woman, who also survived.

The Earth's axis will reverse? What difference does it make if you can use the GPS?

The Earth will become uninhabitable? What is the problem if you can go live on the ISS?

Many people will die? Great, too many people.There are seven billion humans, and half will die of a good size, the survivors lived in caves and could not pay rent and condominium fees.

Extinction of species is another concern unnecessary because some always survive, type: fungi, insects, bacteria, viruses, and others will never end all.

The Amazon rainforest will become a desert?.We will send all the proof Amazonian soil, build a large sambódromo for the parades of the samba schools of Carnaval, to build a big stadium for the football World Cup in 2014, a large prison built to house the criminals in Rio de Janeiro andCuritiba, and still be able to build a new federal capital, to hold corrupt politicians we elect in the last election, because Brazilia is already becoming too small to house so corrupt.

RUI SANTOS DE SOUZA

Brazil, Curitiba, 16 August 2011